It Still Goes On...Figuring Life From A Failure

Let's go back when you were 12 years old (unless, YOU ARE 12 years old. Which makes me question what the hell are you doing here?). Now, remember how did you expect your life would be in the next 10-15 years later. We have various answer to that, but none of that results in: "probably stuck in a dead end job, still living with my parents, and burning trough my savings".

In my case, i always picturing myself figured out what i'm gonna do with my life. At 25 I'll already own a company, working with full passion, financially secure, and have my own house. At 27 maybe I've traveled to many places, met a lot of people, making new friends. And on my 30, I'll settle down, get married, started a family. I'm 28 now, and none of that happened.

So, what's wrong with me? Nothing I guess. It's just life. Many people will say, if you failed then you haven't tried hard yet, or maybe you don't passionate enough. Sure, hard work and passion will get you somewhere. Throw in some luck there and you'll have a pretty good future. But not everyone figured out their passion in an instant. Not every hardworking people out there is successful. You know this true because you have seen it. You witness it. Some of us experienced it.

So what would you do when you already in your 20's and accomplish nothing? Then keep trying and wait. As you probably sick of hearing it, life is truly goes on. After graduating college, or high school you probably know your self value. So you sit there and figuring out what job you would have, while everybody started to build their life.

I graduate late from college. While i still busy doing my research, i saw my graduated friends getting jobs anywhere possible. At a bank, cafes, small retails, or even labor works. I always think, why would they got the job that doesn't even worth their value? It's doesn't even goes with their academic background.

Then i graduated, and i saw my friend who started from nothing, now become managers, shop owner, building a startup company, even working in government and multinational company. Those crummy job ended up with a lot of possibility.

Life goes on. While you sit there thinking and planning, your friends is working their way up, your colleagues getting married, your family getting older. While you sit there counting your savings, life cost getting higher and higher. There's nothing wrong with planning, but don't do it standing still. If you still don't know what are you going to do with your life, or what passion you have, do something while you look for the answer. Don't stop when you fail. Failure can hurt, but it makes you stronger, it teach you a valuable lessons.

Case in point, look at some of veteran actors. Some of them started outside of acting. They work at cafes, doing hard labor, become a salesman. But they keep on moving until the opportunity present itself. Some of them even find it out late in their life. And even then, they aren't really good at it. Robert Downey jr. had to struggle with addiction and bad image before he comes clean and become Iron Man.

Nothing wrong to start at a crummy job, because you won't ended up there forever. Met people, make friends and connection. There will be opportunity opened up for you. And if you still can't find it where you are, get out. That means you are in a wrong place. Find a new one and keep looking. Don't be afraid to get out from your comfort zone, because you can't say you're not good at it if you haven't tried it. 

I always think I'm not good at sales, because i get nervous around people and I'm not good at talking. But then I decided to try, and even when i started out very clumsy, I did a pretty good job. I quit at the end, but it's not because i give up, but because the work environment is unhealthy. Of course i'm not going empty handed. I got experience from the job, i got knowledge, i found new friends, i made a connection with a lot of my customers.

I still consider myself a failure. Now I'm back to my hometown, and living with my parents once again. But i don't have the 9-5 job (technically it is, but i get to do anything i want in between), I'm not burning trough my savings anymore,  I had plan to buy a house and requiring some assets, and I got a girlfriend whom hopefully I'll marry someday.

Life sometimes doesn't go as we planned. But along the way, we will figured out how to make it works. Just be thankful for everything you had, everything you've been trough until today. Success had a varied definition, but it ultimately come down to how happy you are.

Success can be fleeting. Don't let it define you.

Friends and family become increasingly important as you grow older. Make sure you cultivate them when you are young.

Happiness is the best measure of success.

- Donald P. Nielsen -